Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
