im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize