I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
