Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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