maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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