you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
