It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize