woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I will pee on everything he values.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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