I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
