okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
