Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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