Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
