Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm bleeding and have questions
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
