remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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