this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
