very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize