I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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