brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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