Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
