Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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