Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
