shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
