Buhtt sex?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
