come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
