For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Randomize
