Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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