Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
