Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
