8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
