I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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