nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
