You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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