i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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