Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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