Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
