I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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