she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My cat gives me a boner
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
