Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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