It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
