I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
