How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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