he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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