no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
