i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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