just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize