we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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