I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
