Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
