I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
