Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
