my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All the doctor said was why
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
