so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm passing your future prison.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
