we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
