I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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