I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize