That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
