and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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