we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
40s are totally the cure
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
