i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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