She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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