In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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