the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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