My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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